IN THIS ISSUE

01 keep the main thing the main thing

02 your focus is bandwidth. spend it on purpose.

03 learning to say no

TAKEAWAY #1

This year my family and I set up our lives three different times. We had to relocate mid-season twice. New city, new systems, new everything. There was a stretch where I was sitting in a hotel room with our life packed into suitcases, and I still had games to be ready for.

There was no time to process what actually happened. The focus had to be simple: family, faith, and getting my mind and body ready to perform on the court. That is my job. Everything that wasn't one of those three things had to wait.

That's what "keep the main thing the main thing" actually means. It's not a cute phrase. It's triage. When life gets loud, most people try to hold everything. The ones who last are the ones who know what the main thing is before the chaos starts.

And here's something to watch for in a season like that, because I've lived it. The moment one thing goes negative, your mind will try to find every other negative thing it can and steamroll from there. One bad thought recruits ten more. That's how one rough day becomes a lost week.

Which is why you have to protect your mind the same way you protect the main thing. Guard what you're listening to. Guard what you're viewing. Guard the words you use, especially the ones about yourself. What you let in is what shows up when the pressure comes.

And if you need proof any of this works, here it is. Off the court, this was the most stressful season of my life, especially the last two months when my family wasn't with me. On the court, it was my most successful season yet. Same year. Same mind. That's how powerful your mind is when you protect it and point it at the main thing.

You want to see what carrying all of that actually looks like? Watch this. Right before I was given my award, I started crying. It just came out. I felt so soft in the moment, not gonna lie. But it wasn't about the award. I just missed my family. They carried that whole season with me, and in the biggest individual moment of my career, they weren't in the building. Everything we'd been through all year came out right there.

Mindset is everything. I'm living proof.

And if you're wondering when I did process it all, that's what the seven Fridays were for.

TAKEAWAY #2

Here's what that stretch taught me about focus. It's not concentration. It's bandwidth.

When I was using everything I had on keeping my family safe, packing, logistics, moving, there was nothing left over. I wasn't scrolling social media. I wasn't working on side projects. Not because I'm disciplined. Because my energy was being used elsewhere.

That was the accidental lesson. The distractions didn't disappear because I fought them. They disappeared because something bigger was occupying the space.

So flip it. If your focus keeps leaking to your phone, to comparison, to noise, the answer usually isn't more willpower. It's a bigger main thing. Fill the space with what matters and there's no bandwidth left to leak.

And when you can't do that, scale back. Always. You protect focus by subtraction, not addition.

TAKEAWAY #3

Now the part of his question nobody wants to answer. He asked about relationships pulling his mental energy.

Here's my honest take. If a relationship is draining you, cut it off. I tell my wife this all the time. Almost three years ago was the first time I really learned to say no. Not because I'm a bad guy. Because I understand I have to protect my time and my peace at all cost.

People might think you're rude for it. But understand why. They think you're rude because you're not doing what they want you to do. That's it. They're seeing you through their own lenses.

And here's the deeper truth. Nobody will ever see you fully for who you are, because we all wear filters built from our past experiences, good and bad. Somebody who had a bad moment with heights as a kid runs every decision about heights through that filter for the rest of their life. People do the same thing with you. When you say no, their reaction runs through their filter, not your reality. It says more about their lens than your character.

So let them think what they think. My mental is one of the engines to all the success. If the engine is leaking, everything built on it stalls. The prayer, the prep, the reps, they all run through a mind that has to be protected first.

But hear the other side too, because last week I told you my family refills my tank. The goal isn't cutting people off. It's knowing the difference between the people who drain you and the people who build you. Say no to the first group without guilt. Pour into the second group without limits.

Faith and family are the main thing. Everything else earns its place or loses it.